It’s funny how life works out…. Its funny where life can lead you…. Sometimes life has other plans….
These are the exact thoughts that have crossed my mind on more than occasional visits. If someone would have told me a year and a half ago that I, a girl who left everything she knew all behind her to set out and find a new life in Miami would ever have ended up in Norway…well, lets just say that I would have assisted you to the nearest mental institution available.
I moved to Miami a year and a half ago (has it really been that long?) to set out on my own to not only find myself again and start a new and refreshing life after ending a relationship of about five years, but most importantly to chase after my dreams. I remember the day I left my family, my friends, my life as I knew it all behind for a life full of the unknown. I can still remember the tears rolling down my face as I felt the true feeling of fear starting to really set in. I knew not a soul in Miami, I had no idea what I was going to do for work to make ends meet, I had no idea what life as I knew it had in store for me. I had never truly been on my own before, let alone now newly single and moving to MIAMI!! The only thing I knew was that I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least give it a shot. There was a huge sacrifice to be made. Sacrifice’s of putting distance between some of my closest relationships and support systems, the sacrifice of having to leave my pride and joy of a dog behind (which still kills me),the sacrifice of whatever stability I may have had. But, It was my dream to leave for Miami, get to working and save as much money as quickly as I could to immediately move to Los Angeles, California and pursue my life long dreams being the stubborn girl I can be. (I’m sure you can assume what those dreams were! haha.). Yes, it was my dream to ultimately end up in California pursuing my modeling and acting career! It was what I loved to do and wanted most at that time and I was willing to throw myself into the fire in order to achieve my goals, and nobody could talk me out of it. So what happened to me moving to California you might ask? Well, life had “OTHER” plans in mind…..
Yep, this is what ignited the fuel to the fire, my passion for modelling & acting.
Let me start by telling you, what I thought was bound to be smooth sailing and because I had the nieve outlook of “Everything Will Work Out” Mentality, you can imagine the discouragement I got bombarded with when moving to Miami was anything BUT smooth sailing!!! Everything that could have went wrong, most certainly did go wrong. And I never realised how much of a rock I truly lived under until I moved. I mean, I knew it was going to be challenging but I didn’t know it was going to be THAT challenging. I moved knowing exactly where I was going to live being fortunate enough to find a room to rent in a beautiful house contract free through a friend. This was the only thing I knew and the only thing set in stone for my move to Miami. After I got settled into my new place (and let me tell you, going from your own whole apartment to just a rented out room in a house is quite a change) but after getting everything unpacked and me getting settled in, I knew there was no time for getting the hang of stuff. I needed a job, and I needed a job fast if I was going to sustain life. I contacted a couple of people I just happened to meet my first few days in Miami. I was lucky enough to have found a job making good money to sustain myself and at least keep the bills paid. I had found a new life in Miami, or so I thought….
I ended up losing my first job in Miami due to the establishment closing down. Once again, in a state of panic. I quickly jumped back onto the anxiety train scrambling to find a new job and get rent paid. After a few trial runs I finally found a sustainable income with a new and exciting job, but very cut throat and high intensity industry. The only problem was that I now had to move to the beach in order to make that job work out. If you’ve ever been to Miami or lived in Miami Beach, then you quickly know and can recall exactly just how expensive it is to live there. I found myself desperately looking for a roommate/apartment on the beach not knowing how the heck in the world I would be able to afford this. I didn’t know if I could afford it, or how I would afford it. All that I knew was that I absolutely had to make this work even if it meant working three jobs so that I could save money and get to California at last. For me it was a race against time. After moving to a few different places in Miami Beach, packing and unpacking back to back, which got exhausting real fast and getting to experience first hand just how flaky people can sometimes be, I was beginning to get highly discouraged and starting to think about life in Tampa, back home. Ahhh...Home. Home at this point was looking better and better, although It was something I was beginning to wonder even existed anymore. Miami can be a tough city. It can either chew you up and spit you out, or it can make you. I have known tons of people that have moved there, desperately tried, it didn't work out and they always came right back home. The city put me to the test morally, physically and above all, emotionally. I began to witness ways of the world I didn’t even knew existed (something I would love to blog about in the future). Feeling a bit scared and at times alone due to not having family nearby and just about states away, going home was not an option anymore. There was no turning back. I knew I had to tough it out. If I was ever going to make my dreams a reality, this was my only hope. Christmas and holidays were now spent with my roommate and her cuban family that were kind enough to make me feel welcomed, and trips back home started to become fewer and fewer. I was asking myself just about every night exactly what my sole purpose of moving to Miami was. It was not this dream life I had envisioned in my mind, in fact it was starting to become anything but that. I was finding it extremely hard for a small town hearted girl like myself to adjust in the sometimes harsh ways of the fast paced Miami life. My goal was drifting further and further from me and so was my hope. I hadn't been able to achieve any of my goals since I moved at this point, due to having to make ends meet, and was living off of nothing more than fire fueled by my passions and dreams. It was at this point I was forced to ask myself exactly what was the purpose of me ever moving here? I didn't move for a life full of only vacations and fun, I had dreams, I had goals, and I was in the complete working mindset. I was beginning to really understand that Miami was just not for me. I was feeling defeated and tired. I started to feel that through all of the mud that I was quickly losing sight of the bigger picture that had lead me there in the first place. It's crazy because looking back, I really had what most girls would consider life made. There was always a great event to go to, another yacht party to attend, or celebrities to be met. But for me, although sometimes indulging in these events, that was just not what I moved there for. I wasn't there to be someones arm candy, or to be approached by another wealthy, yet self absorbed and uninteresting snake of a guy. I was there for one reason and one reason only, and that was for me to make my own dreams a reality and to stay true to my morals along the way with minimal distractions. Gosh, Moving back home sounded so extremely great in theory if that were to be an option, but here’s the thing, I'M NOT A QUITTER! I stayed up some nights calling my mom or my dad as a young adult with tears rolling down my face looking for any sort of confirmation or form of reassurance that I did not make a mistake.That I was strong enough to keep a level head in such a crazy world, and that only I controlled my own destiny. I made a promise to myself that very night that no matter how discouraged and scared I got that I would not turn back and I would make it work, because my dreams are worth it and I owed it to myself. This was my ultimate investment.
"Suddenly just when I thought things were going exactly according to plan finally, IT HAPPENED! The thing I swore I wouldn’t let happen, the one thing I knew would take me off of my set path, the thing I was finally against……."
Here it comes, the part where everything starts to look up...
Six months had already passed. Six months jumping from job to job, from home to home and from thoughts of moving back home or not until I had FINALLY landed myself some sort of stability in the crazy world of Miami Beach. I came across my friend Vanessa from work, I found that she had also been in need of a new roommate. I frantically explained my situation to her and told her that I would be homeless if I did not soon find a place to rent that did not charge $6,000 upfront. I mean, how the heck was I going to afford a six thousand dollar payment upfront?! This was and currently is in a lot of situations the going rate for just moving into a new place in Miami. Of course I had received offers for living arrangements, but being the prideful person that I can be, there was no way that I was going to ever couch surf, or ever stay anywhere for free leaving me to feel like I ever owed anyone anything. This is when I suddenly realized and it hit me with vengeance that I was not in Tampa anymore. Thank goodness for me putting the word out that I was in need of a roommate because I actually ended up becoming roommates with Vanessa in a beautiful apartment on the beach. I knew I was going to be living pay check to pay check possibly and that this apartment was out of my budget but again, my "You have to make it work" mentality kicked in and next thing I knew, Vanessa and I were roommates with a year-long lease. I was finally able to kick my feet up, enjoy my brand new beautiful apartment on the beach (fully furnished might I add) with a great paying job that allowed me to travel during the week and attend my castings and auditions. AHHHH, what a relief! Miami was finally starting to look up. I could finally start working towards my goal to move to California! I found myself meeting all sorts of amazing people from around the world, getting to travel, and most importantly sustain life in a comfortable manner. I was finally now able to focus on what really mattered. Things were great! I knew at this point, getting to move to California was taking a lot longer than expected, but I knew that I was at least on my way of making it achievable. Suddenly just when I thought things were going exactly according to plan finally, IT HAPPENED! The thing I swore I wouldn’t let happen, the one thing I knew would take me off of my set path, the thing I was finally against…….
Casual dinner with some of the girls... typical us. Don't mind the straws in the wine! whoops.
He happened! That’s what happened. Mr. Norway. Perfect timing Mr. Norway (NOT!). Haha. By Mr. Norway, I am referring to Prince Charming himself. The unbelievable and caring man who I am with today and so proud to call my very own! He truly is my Prince Charming. He’s what I dreamed about and pictured since I was little, but didn’t really believe truly existed. All the way from the fjords of Norway in Miami Beach when I didn’t think at all about LOVE, or the desire to be in it at that point in my life… There he stood, and from out of nowhere! Love was the last thing I had on my mind with all of my stresses and goals at hand. He quickly changed my mind on that aspect of my life. After a few dates and many meaningful and intelectual conversations later I found that this one I couldn’t leave behind. We met outside of a restaurant in Miami as a good friend and I were waiting on a taxi (cute story that I can blog about later). We found ourselves attached at the hip for the remainder of his two-week stay in Miami. He was so handsome, so incredibly humble and sophisticated. He was full of knowledge and intelligence. He was so different than anyone I had ever met. He had a heart that was pure, and I loved him for it. We spent hours closing down every restaurant we had ever gone to just deep in conversation. I knew he was different, I knew he was special and I knew I was unexpectedly in love. The day he was to fly back home to Norway I will never forget the text message that melted my heart and brought me to tears. Somehow through all of our conversations and all of our getting to know each other shared feelings and emotions, he managed to remember one thing that I myself, had even forgot I had told him. He managed to remember the dream I have had since I was a little girl, and that was to visit London. I had always wanted to visit London since I was a young teenage girl and expressed to him at one point how I was determined to bring myself there one day. The morning of his flight to leave back home to Norway, the only thing that kept me from crawling into bed and not coming out until he returned back to Miami was his text message that read……. “For our Fourth official date, I would love it if you would let me take you to dinner in London.” From that point forward he won my heart over and we have never separated since.
The one guy that managed to bring tears of happiness to my life in such a beautiful and honorable way. I knew I couldn’t be without him, that maybe California could wait for a little bit, because sometimes some things in life are just too beautiful and more important than to ever pass up or put on hold. I had felt that this is where the universe had brought me and finally I felt the exact reason why I was ever brought to Miami, and every little path I had ever taken in life lead me to this point of meeting him. I had found the real purpose of me moving there. All of the initial struggles were worth all of the bliss. As I now sit in Oslo, Norway writing this very blog post I realize that just because one dream has not happened yet, or maybe never will, does not mean that I have not stumbled across another one, a more meaningful one, one that completes me. I found my soul mate. Courage is exactly what lead me to this dream and exactly what my dreams were made of this whole time…..
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